Thursday, May 3, 2012

The Writer's Voice Entry #165 - Purgatory by Random Andrews



 Entry #165

 Title - Purgatory by Random Andrews

Genre - Adult: Science Fiction

Query - An armed robbery critically injures Clayton Stockton and takes the life of his six-year-old brother, Joey.  Clayton struggles to find meaning in life while dealing with the loss of his brother and absence of a father, who he lost earlier to cancer.  He is a self-proclaimed agnostic but struggles to find closure regarding his little brother’s ill-timed death. Meanwhile, Joey’s soul begins the long process of reincarnation that is well hidden from today’s society.  There is only one God.  He cannot keep up with the ever-increasing population rate while still attempting to manage the evil that has plagued our world.  He has created a system that can automatically recycle souls, erase their previous life, and assign a new host and destination for their next life on Earth.

Clayton, only eighteen years old, succumbs to the early stages of depression.  He turns to drugs and alcohol for immediate ecstasy but constantly longs for the bond his family once had.  Only after discovering signs from a hidden afterlife, he notices the family he yearns for can be recreated with his girlfriend, Brittney. Clayton purposely impregnates her, destroying her future in the process.God’s system is supposedly impeccable, but an erratic malfunction occurs.  Joey’s soul is accidentally sent into the body of Clayton’s newborn son.  This mistake will affect the entire world and only Clayton has the power to stop it, even if he doesn’t know it yet.

The First 250 -
“Joey!  Get your fucking ass over here right now!”  Our mother, Sharon, screamed at my attention deficit disordered, six year old brother.  “Don’t make me tell you again.” 
It was Black Friday at Greenwood Park Mall and to say it was a bit over-crowded was an understatement.  Everyone has packed together like a cheap can of sardines, scavenging the mall for any type of sale or discount.  Our mother, who is never afraid to speak her mind, was scared she was going to lose Joey again, just like she did two years ago at the State Fair.  Memories of that chaotic scene played out in her head as she impatiently waited for Joey to return to her clammy, terrifying grip.
“Joey-- I am going to count to three.  If you are not next to me, I am going to spank your ass so hard–you won’t be able to sit on Santa’s lap until next year!” she yelled towards his direction.
Shocked shoppers, upset by our mother’s filthy mouth, stare off in disgust.  But Sharon’s cold eyes over-powered their judging attitudes, like an un-even battle in tug-of-war.  By now, Joey knew she was not playing.  This was exactly what happened to him when she finally found him two years ago.  He got his ass beat, welted, right in front of everyone.  However, Joey simply couldn’t help it.  The countless amounts of Christmas lights and holiday decor had caught his attention a little bit better than the lotions and candles our mom was shopping for at Bath and Body Works.

24 comments:

  1. Hi Random, I'm stopping by from the Writer's Voice Contest to wish you the best of luck! I'm following your blog now too, so: nice to meet you.

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  2. Hi Random (cool name),
    Lovin' your extract - the thing that really made me sit up and take note was the crossed out beat - never seen that before. Kudos on the originality stakes!
    Good luck
    Jacky (#130)
    P.S. Grammar hates me - the grammar police have an APB on me in every site on the net.

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  3. Good luck! Your story sounds interesting!

    Brandi #199

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  4. @Matthew - Thank so much & thanks for the follow. I will be sure and follow you. Also Happy May the Fourth day..

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  5. @Jacky - thanks for the compliment about my name. In the end this book is like "found footage" very similar to like project X and paranormal activity, so there will be strike outs and other things, because this is like a "journal" the main character leaves for himself for his next live. Hope that doesn't give too much away.


    And I am glad I am not the only one grammar hates haha

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  6. @Brandi - thank you so much. I am going to go check out your submission as well.

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  7. I love when books start with a bang!! Especially a nice, wellplaced F-bomb!
    Kudos, and good luck with the contest!

    #186

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  8. Thank you so much Kelsey. It's going to be tough competition for sure. Best of luck to you. If i was an agent, I would request pages from your MS...Love it.

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  9. Good luck in the contest! -April, #61

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    1. Thank You So Much A.E. Welch - - Good Luck To You As Well

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  10. Great to see another adult entry in the contest. However, I do have a complaint... not about your ssubmission, which is excellent, but about the width of your webpage :( I had to scroll sideways to see everything - that I stayed is a testement to the quality of your writing. Nice submission - Good luck!

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    1. I had no idea that the width of my webpage was that large lol but thanks for pointing that out to me. I will have to take a look at it. Thank you for staying!!! I really, really, appreciate it.

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  11. I like that this has some grit to it!! A little dirtier than some of the other entries! (I mean that as a compliment, lol.)

    Good luck in the contest!

    Summer - #40

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    1. thank you so much summer. Yeah, I try to take the path less traveled haha. I will check out your entry!!

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  12. Whoa, this definitely has a lot of conflict in it! This sounds like a very interesting story! Good luck in the contest!

    Dani #179

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    1. Thank you so much Dani..I will check out your entry. Thanks so much for the comment..it means a lot..

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  13. I don't think I've seen an entry like this yet - very intriguing! Good luck!

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    1. I hope that is a good thing lol - thank you so much becca!!

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  14. This sounds interesting. Good luck!

    ~Nicole, entry 68

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    1. Thank you so much Nicole- Best of luck to you as well!

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  15. Love your name! That alone will take you places! Good luck.

    Clara, #112

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    1. Thank you so much clara. I can only hope so. Good luck to you as well!

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  16. I'm going to second what Clara said. You have such a unique name! :) Best of luck!

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    1. Thank you Carrie. I will be sure and tell me parents. It was 99% their idea lol

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